Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
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