i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
Randomize