very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
