just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
Randomize
