Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
