i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
Randomize
