I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
