Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
Randomize