Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize