There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
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