what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
He's a Shit stain on my heart
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize
