I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Randomize
