I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
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He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
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Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
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