I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
Randomize
