Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
Randomize
