how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
Randomize
