i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Randomize
