just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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