Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
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