I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize