We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
