i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
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