Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
I need to align my fucking chakras
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize
