and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
Randomize
