If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
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