This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
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