you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
so much tequila, so little girl.
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