Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
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