forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
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