Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
Randomize
