started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize