Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
Randomize
