I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
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I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
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Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
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