The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
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