Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
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