There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
She told me I should be a condom model.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
Randomize