Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
