Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
Randomize
