piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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