I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
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