Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Randomize
