return my video game
You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
Randomize