he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
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