i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
Just invented taco cereal.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
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