Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
