my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Randomize