i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Randomize