Non-Jews are for practice
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
Randomize
