i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
Randomize
