Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
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