its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
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