the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
Randomize
