Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
