just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
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One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
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We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
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