with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
I woke up this morning with "guy in polar bear j.crew boxers" written on my stomach along with a 5 digit phone number...
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
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