drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
Randomize
