I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
