Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize
