I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
how do you play pong handcuffed?
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
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