I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
Randomize