what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
Randomize
