he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Randomize
