I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
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